Devolle Danielle

How To Be Noob in Dota (the Niga-Higa imitation version)
Written by a Noob for Pro Dota Players

\( ^ o ^ )/\( ^ o ^ )/\( ^ o ^ )/\( ^ o ^ )/\( ^ o ^ )/\( ^ o ^ )/\( ^ o ^ )/


Hey, you there!

Do you face problems of other players reluctant to join your game because you're being too pro?


Are you bored of your "mmmMMMMMonster kill" or "Godlike.."?


Are you tired of feeling superior in no matter which hero you randomed in Dota?

If your answer to either one of the above three questions is 'Yes!', then this "How to be a Noob in Dota" guide is for you!




1. Always leave the game when you see the oppurtunity!: (lolz.. somebody would kill me for this XD)
Leave when you randomed a hero that you don't know how to use;
Leave when you being first-blooded;
Leave after one of your teammates left;
Request for a switch when it's 5 against 4;
Leave after two of your teammates left;
When your death rate hits 5/0/0, say "f*** u" to all then leave;
Leave after three of your teammates left;
But don't leave when you're the last one standing. Take all items left, create a super hero and go look for uncle Roshan just for the sake of your scores...

2. Talk big... and I mean, really BIG:
"I'm gonna pawn you all!!!"
"Noobz!!"
"You all get ready to die~!!"
"All come mid, I stand here let you all kill, WAJAJAJAJA!!"

3. Everytime you successfully kill an opponent hero, type something to piss off your opponent team.... For Fun!
"LOLZ"
"Haha..."
"Zzz... so easy"

4. Complain that the line is lag everytime you got killed, even if it's not true.
"Host... lag lar.."
"Tunnel please"
"Noob host... game so lag"

5. Complain your teammates didn't report missing when you got ambushed.
"ms didn't report... noob"
"Noob mid"
"Too pro don't want to report ms?"

6. Farm at neutral creeps when your teammates are all defending or pushing.

7. Block your teammates when they are on a red-blood-opponent's tail.
Especially when you're teammate is Pudge. Always, always stand between him and the opponents!

8. Never try to get last hit on creeps nor tower.

9. Hide behind your teammates and use skill when you're a tanker-melee hero.

10. Always complain that your teammates killed your target.
"KS-er!!"
"Oih, that was my kill!"
"zzz"

And there are others you can do, like purchase wrong items for your heroes, don't buy shoes and some other stuff, but if you follow the instructions then your name should be in alot of player's ban list and should look something like this --->












PAWNED....

Teehee~






P/S: The above guide is based on months of real observations. Me myself did some of them too and still doing...

Coz I'm noob ma XD